is a single mama in the city, super-savvy editor, writer, video host and shameless shoe whore.
How to get kicked out of preschool
Friday, December 14, 2007 
The Santa (Sweat) Shop was four hours of complete insanity with tape (not enough) and a screaming child (mine) but honestly, does not warrant this.
Although it would be fucking hilarious, right? Just to send him to co-op in this shirt and never say a word about it. La la la, how was story time? And look at this glitter pinecone ornament you made, honey! Alright, grab your coat and let's go home and laugh about how effing riotous we are over fishy crackers and strawberry milk!
Or maybe, just order it for the kid to wear around the grandparents at the holidays. Jesus Mary and Joseph, Jessica, do you actually let that kid wear that kind of profanity out and about on the streets and in public and God forbid, at daycare? Please, for the love of Sesame Street, say it isn't so! You're joking with this, right Jessica?! This is your idea of a goddamn joke, isn't it?!
So really, the options are endless. Just slooowwwwly put down the CrewCuts snowflake kiddie tights that cost more than the rest of the outfit and order this brilliance already. I mean, it is the holidays.
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