16 Perfect Non-Drinking Date Ideas

On the thousands (OK, hundreds) of Match.com meet-ups I had during my dating days, it was the rare man who suggested we get together to do something other than have drinks. While there’s something simple about that first-date go-to, I took special notice the time the stuffy-seeming contract attorney suggested we spend one of the last warm fall days of the year on a hike outside of the city. And even though the motivational speaker who promoted himself for two hours before he asked one single question about me was not someone I ever wanted to see again, I did enjoy walking along the beach with a delicious milkshake while he blathered on and on. A long time later, I loved that my first in-person meeting with the Not Boyfriend was to view a museum exhibit he’d been dying to show me.

Dates for drinks are easy, yes. But maybe first dates shouldn’t always go straight to the comfort zone. Don’t be lured into believing you need the warm, slow buzz of booze to get over the first-date jitters. Or that the pub she picks or the cocktail he orders will give you necessary clues about what kind of person is sitting on the bar stool next to you.

Getting just creative enough — no need to decorate mugs with puffy paints or take a helicopter to Aspen “Millionaire Matchmaker”-style — could carve a more meaningful opening for conversation and sharing and revelation than a couple hours of clinking glasses. It might also show you, like the motivational speaker did with flair, that it is not a good match at all.

Whether you choose not to imbibe, have said farewell to drinking altogether, or just want to spend some alcohol-free time together, here are some great ways to get to know your date. Worry not, none of them are bowling.

Click for my full list of perfectly fun, budget-friendly dates ideas on Babble.

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A country at war with itself

On the day of the Colorado shootings, this poem poured out of me and on to my keyboard, up to my screen. So much more has happened since a movie theater full of people went under the siege of a gunman. Small children in classrooms were killed in Newtown, babies were shot by intruders, a young woman full of promise who was standing on a playground after school was killed in my own city.

Still, people and politicians protest the idea of disarming this country. When bombs went off at the finish line of the Boston marathon this afternoon -- an event with each mile dedicated to a victim of Newtown -- another part of my heart crumbled away. 

I don't want to be afraid to send my child to school

to watch him run toward the door, hair pushed back in the breeze

backpack swaying like a playground swing with each step

the 518-page chapter book hitting his slender hips as he goes 

up the stairs to sit in front of a window across from the cloak room

where he knows to hide, to burrow down in the corner in case of lockdown drill

or worse -- "this will never happen, but the information is good," I assure him

But how can we be sure?

I don't want to think of these things, envision these moments we cannot name without tears

I shake them from my thoughts and decidely replace them with images 

of children turning pages, raising hands, running laps, peering over each other to see a teacher explain a project

Little pieces of my heart crack and crumble at the exercise that has no lesson

I don't want to be afraid to run free

through the streets around my house as the sun sets and the corners gray at the edges

next to a man who won't stop staring from the treadmill next to me

along the dazzling lake with not another person in site until the skyscrapers a mile ahead

across a finish line I have been imagining all of my life.

I don't want to be afraid of the library, the movie theater, the quiet residential neighborhoods of my city.

I don't want my child to grow up in the reality of explosives and gunfire

I don't want him to think that fighting back against the NRA is just something we do every election cycle

or that background checks and blaming mental illness and single mothers and gangs and poverty screams NO loud enough

I don't want to agonize over playdates at friends' houses, worrying 

that their parents keep guns (sort of) locked away

I don't want to fear for an incident when I am not there to shield his body with my own

on an L platform or outside a party or playing basketball across the street or in music class

I don't want your children to feel this fear either

I don't want to recognize the deep-lined look of worry on another parents' face 

as they flash through the possibilities as I do

I don't want us connected by grief and missing pieces 

of our families and communities and hearts

Compassion like dust in the air

Fear like a chisel at the safest places where we live and breathe and learn

Why is this country at war with itself? 

And why are the people who are dying on the frontlines 

the babies, the vulnerable, the ones with arms outstretched saying yes to a world of good.

There is no white flag to raise 

Only more NO NO NOs

Enough. It's all enough

Who will stand with us to clear the fears and clasp what remains of our hearts?
Who will declare this war over? 

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Things to do in Chicago with kids

You know how I love my city, from the vibrant neighborhoods to the acclaimed restaurants to the skyline and shimmering lake that never fail to make me gasp. I love running into people I know in my favorite dive taco stand and in the shi-shi new rooftop bar. And I love showing guests my favorite spots, eats, stages and stadiums. 

Here are some of the best hip-shaking, team-cheering, food-stuffing, culture-inhaling places to see in the second city, no matter what your budget or how many children are with you. 

The Ledge on the Skydeck of Willis Tower

Willis Tower SkyDeck & The Ledge

While you’re peering down at the city from the Skydeck level of Willis Tower (rebellious Chicagoans adamantly still refer to it as the Sears Tower), be sure to step out on to The Ledge. These four glass balconies that are clear on all sides jut out from the Skydeck to offer breathtaking views you won’t replicate anywhere else in the city -- totally worth shaking off your jitters to experience! Click here for more information.

Steppenwolf Theatre

Steppenwolf Theatre

With three stages, a roster of 16 plays and nearly 700 performances, readings and events every year, Steppenwolf Theatre has exploded, season after season, since it was founded by Jeff Perry, Gary Sinise and Terry Kinney in a suburban church basement. The ensemble is made up of 43 actors, many of whom you will recognize and some who you may even spy in the audience. Steppenwolf sets always wow and the productions will surely get you thinking. Main-stage shows often include a discussion with cast or crew that is worth sticking around for. Click here for more information.

Sadly, no ketchup on these dogs

Chicago-Style Hot Dog

Skip the ketchup and shake on the celery salt if you want to devour a Chicago-style hot dog. From the ballpark to a hole-in-the-wall sandwich stand, you can keep yourself busy in the city simply by doing a taste test of all the dogs we offer. Although it doesn’t make the list for best hot dogs, SuperDawg drive-in serves up more kitsch and history than anyone else steaming hot dogs in the city limits. Click here for a food reviewer's top dog picks.

Second City Theatre

Second City Theatre

The sketch comedy and improv stages at Second City have lit up the careers of greats Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Stephen Colbert, Steve Carrell, Mike Meyers, John Candy, Gilda Radner, Bill Murray, John Belushi and 500 more recognized names in the business. Established more than a half-century ago, The Second City entertains a million audience members a year with its theaters in Chicago and Toronto and touring ensembles. Shows are scheduled every night of the week and could feature SNL’s next breakout star. Click here for more information.

National Museum of Mexican Art

National Museum of Mexican Art

This free museum that houses more than 7,000 objects and artifacts in its permanent collection was founded by Chicago Public School teachers with a budget of only $900. Today, more than 60,000 school children and thousands more supporters visit each year to take in the art and culture from both sides of the border on exhibit. Click here for more information.

Ready for more? The list just gets better, so click to keep reading.

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