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When the kisses leave, this will do

May-June 2010 3190 Sometimes, he runs when I try to pull him into his arms after he's been with his dad overnight or for a weekend. Some mornings, he rushes through our little kissing hand routine, a little embarassed ("Oh, Mommmayyyyy!")  and ready to get on with his day and friends and Lego hidden in his sweatshirt pocket.

Some evenings, I have to make a game of wrestling or Star Wars just to get in the overwhelming number of kisses and hugs we used to have before bedtime.

I get it. In my head, at least. He needs to run more than he needs to be the curled up little bug on my chest. But I make him anyway, trying hard to strip out the JUST SMOOCH YOUR MOTHER, CHILD! insistence from my voce and the mousy look for just a little hug in my eyes, to tell him calmly, "It's OK for people to be affectionate. It's important."

I know he knows this. I also know he's six. And one day he will be thirteen. Another, thirty. I want this boy to be a man who knows his mother expects a little love, even when his friends are around, even when we're irritated with each other, even when he's exhausted, even when he's ohmahgawsohumiliated. Not lots, just enough.

Just a momentary hug (with feeling).

Just a few tiny pecks (hello and goodnight).

Or maybe this smile.

Yes, this sweet smile will do nicely when those other things are too much for whatever age he is that day.

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Reader Comments (6)

thank you. i love to read this type of information posts. again thank you...

Aww, I know that feeling so well. My 8 year old can't seem to escape fast enough from my clutches but I know he really loves it. Time passes much too quickly.
March 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMommyfriend
Just keep doing what your doing. My son is 19 and has never stopped hugging me (maybe sometimes with one arm) in public around his friends or saying "I love you" on the phone or in public. I feel lucky with that, indeed.

March 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteramy sue nathan
Awww, what a sweet post!! I have an 11 yr old son and 7 yr old daughter that are both snuggle bunnies.

However, my son is too big to sit in my lap now ;), nor does he snuggle on the couch as much as he used to - but he still INSISTS on a full and complete bedtime hug and kiss - every night, rain or shine. My daughter is still (thankfully!) into all of the above. =)

It's hard letting them grow up sometimes, isn't it?? LOL
March 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSassy Single Mom
Oh I get it. JUST STOP GROWING ALREADY! Mama needs you to stay small and mine forever.
April 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMommyfriend
Boys are a little distant, they don't like to be cuddled and kissed, they think is for girls and they are men and have to post a tough and strong attitude.
April 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMiami lasik surgery

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