Jessica Ashley facebook twitter babble voices pinterest is a single mama in the city, super-savvy editor, writer, video host and shameless shoe whore.
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Sassy Single Single Mom Style: Do not ever dress like a dinosaur

Ladyfriends, beware of this High Neck Poncho by Gracia. I was nearly lured into its nest by the super-low special happy hour price of $29.99 on iDeeli. That is, until I actually looked at the dress (or poncho...without pants...whatever) and realized that it is not really outerwear at all.


In fact, it is a size-2  Triceratops.


TriceratopsAmirite? The yolking, the pleats, the "please don't find out I taped that episode of 'I'm Secretly Pregnant' while I wore this dress-poncho to the Piggly Wiggly last week" design. All of it screams Cretaceous Style.

Triceratops3The good thing? There's plenty of room to hide your baby triceratops eggs. Or to pull your pretty parts up over your head so the T-rex may not see you there in the middle of the untouched field.


Nina Garrrthia would probably go on and freaking on about the pintucks and whatnot. But that does not mean shit when the off-the-rack reptilia among us don't have our giant thigh and hoof-like thingies concealed a bit more.


Triceratops4Seriously, does it come in this print?  This print is totally hot pre-Paleogene extinction event.


Triceratops5And clearly, this piece will not hold up well over time and infrequent washings. Do I spy pilling right around the saggy-knee/cankle area?

I do not care if this "designer" is hot on the club scene (ohmygoodness, that was almost an historically incorrect caveman reference) or you cannot pass up an under-$30 deal, no woman -- whether on a date or in court or at work or trying to outrun a pack of little bastard Diplodocus (doci?) -- ever, ever wants to emphasize her giant bony frill.



Now that we've covered the dresscho, someone please tell me why this Gracia creation isn't also extinct.


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Reader Comments (3)

I die Jessica. You effing slay me.
December 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMommyfriend
Likewise, lady.
Holy crap I just read this and snorted with laughter. The pictures...that they kept coming...awesomeness!
December 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterClare

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