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How you know you're a crappy gardener


I think that every single time I pass this urban flower sanctuary that sits outside the garage of a home on street between my parents' house and our place.

I also wonder how many Coors Lites it took to come up with the perfect culmination of form and function for this outcast commode. I'm curious how many Virginia Slims were chain-smoked while repotting  (perhaps re-potty-ing is more accurate) marigolds and some kind of petunia-like purple thingies with a whole bunch of weeds from the backyard into this porcelain wonder.

And now, after pointing it out to Lil E this evening as we walked home from dinner with my parents, I have to ask my boy's question, "How in the world did that potty get there?". Valid question. Very valid question.

Feel free to make your guess in the comments.

Then move on to something very non-crappy. Like, hmmm...I don't know...maybe ONE-HUNDRED DOLLARS.

In case you're ignoring my incessant reminders, stop. Because I'm giving away a Visa card simply for typing out the name of a song. Enter my giveaway right now. Do it. Otherwise, this toilet garden might end up on your front porch. And trust, me tending it is not a tempting way to spend a 147-degree Chicago summer day.

« BlogHibernation: I'm finally (really) back from the conference | Main | alone v. lonely bullshit »

Reader Comments (3)

Love it! There's one of those down the road from us too but it's got geraniums in it. At least they're not doing something really gross like growing potatoes in there!
August 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWondermom
I think that toilet crawled out there on its own. To (literally) get to greener pastures 'n all. Ya know?
August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterYum Yucky
A bathroom renovation was underway at the home of Marvin and Fiona Smith-Wellington. After lengthy consultation with friends and hours in front of the DIY channel, Fiona decided on a pop-art look, choosing a primary color color scheme. The white toilet had to go. She had her heart set on a crimson toilet with accompanying cerulean bidet. Marvin was outraged! This venerable toilet was a classic, made before the pinko, tree hugging, Rachel Maddow loving left took over with their stupid low-flow toilets. The toilet was his favorite place to be. A bathroom renovation war broke out in the Smith-Wellington home. The battles were epic. Fiona hid the remote control. Marvin started farting in bed on purpose. But, in the end, Fiona's commitment to a modern, funky bathroom proved more powerful than Marvin's fondness for single-flush elimination. He, begrudgingly, acquiesced to the removal of the toilet.But he WOULD have his revenge. He had the toilet moved to the garden where he carelessly tossed in some dirt and seeds and eagerly awaited Fiona's certain humiliation. But Fiona hasn't left her bathroom since 2003. So, she wins, I guess.
August 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMegbon

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