is a single mama in the city, super-savvy editor, writer, video host and shameless shoe whore.
Happy birthday! You are now a handful
Sunday, September 20, 2009 You are asleep in your bed right now, wrapped in Star Wars sheets, propped up by a pillow that says, "May The Force Be With You." You are already five-years old.
You started acting very five several months ago, asking even more sophisticated questions, unable to keep yourself from climbing everything you can hook a toe into, drawing intricate scenes with markers and pens, rocking out in the back seat, getting leggier and looking less and less like a small boy.
Sometimes, it startles me. An expression will spread across your face and I catch a glimpse of what you will surely look like when you are a man. You share a sage insight or race past me and I wonder where the time and unsure toddler have slipped away to so quickly.
Other times, I feel you perfectly nestled in my lap or watch you fall into the arms of your friends or see the concentration followed by bliss on your face as you slowly, surely read a word. In those moments and with each new adventure, I know you are becoming more and more yourself.
And that leaves me with a heart that is overwhelmingly full and thinking, "Oh, how I love this boy."
It is not always easy. Growing -- and growing up -- can be hard. You are precocious and you push boundaries. You wholeheartedly believe that we are a team, but this also means you have a hard time being told no. You are working out some very adult stuff. But when it is hardest, when I am exhausted or weepy or feeling stumped or scared, I pull back the camera and see that we work together in the way we always have. No matter how our lives or address or vocabulary or dreams have changed, they way we are is very much the same as it was when it was all fresh and new.
Tonight, you are feverish and restless in your bed. Your head is sweaty and your body is entwined around a giant stuffed monster truck in much the same way it once curled up on me to sleep. Your whole body could fit between my palm and bend in my elbow then -- a million years ago, just yesterday.
Being sick isn't a great way to spend your first day being five. But just as on the most spectacular days and in the most tearful times, I will make my way through your room in the dark, kiss your forehead, place my hand over your beating heart, and whisper that I love you the most.
And in all the world, across these years, I do. Oh, how I do.
A look back on Lil E when he turned:
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