Remember these lovelies, with just a hint of rhinestones set regally atop red velvet that looks as smooth as butter spread across your sweet little foot?
Yeah, well someone won them. And not only was it not me, it wasn't even someone I know and can buy pomtinis for until they acquiesce and let me wear them out or even around the apartment for a while.
No no no, it's fine. Really, it is. The winner is probably used to lacing up some Rocs and power walking laps around the mall with the girls, so think how much sassier she's going to look passing by the 14-year old onlookers at Claire's and Aunt Annie's.
Come to think of it, the winner would have to receive email alerts from Salvatore Ferragamo, so I'm going to make the big leap and assume she isn't truly a Rocs wearer. Probably more like Naturalizer or Aerosoles. (Allow me to let down the judgy front for just a moment to admit that both these brands do have some way-cute styles that I would totally wear and even some I wear all the time...cross my most sensible kitten heels).
So if I can't have those red velvet cinematic wonders, why not have some that come close? That's what I thought as I trolled my favorite online pump pimps for knock-offs. Happily, there are many beautiful red velvet shoes out there, some of which I might be able to pay off over the next year or two. Sadly, the more budget-friendly the shoes I found were, the more I felt my stomach sink in the same disappointment I feel whenever I see similar spreads in magazines. Let's face it, the designer ones always look a gajillion times better/fancier/more fun to put on for a night out. Why is that? Someone call Jessica Simpson('s shoe people) and get them a bolt of scarlet crushed STAT!
In the meantime, here are the knock-offs I found, counting up to what I think is the best option for those of us unwilling to hunt down that contest winner and rip the ankle straps right off of her. What do you think? Passable or just pass?
4. We're getting there with the shape of these D'Orsays, it's just the smidgen of "velvet" that has me aching for more. rsvp, $58
3. I love the sleeker shape of this pair. And the bow...love.it. Is it exact? No. Is satin a total bitch to wear/care for/attempt to spot clean? Yes. Would it be worth it? Probably. Nina, $89
2. And of course we have to throw in a pair by our friends at Promiscuous, who can, without a doubt, slut up velvet like no other shoe maker. Salvatore is having a tantrum somewhere right now, knowing that plastic jewels have been placed upon a platform. $57
Drum roll, please, for the Number One Ferragamo Knock-Offs goes to...
Please tell me you agree these do the Ferragamos justice. They hit all the red crushed velvet, bling, heel, ankle strap and retro D'Orsay points and are 60% off, coming in roughly $42,000 cheaper than the real pair. Take that, Rocs lady! $99