is a single mama in the city, super-savvy editor, writer, video host and shameless shoe whore.
Postcards from the past: One year and 44 boobs ago today
Thursday, October 8, 2009 Ignore the nose chapped from being wiped incessantly for days and days. Avert your eyes from the bad $7 haircut that was ridiculously entrusted to that one other parent. No need to even give your attention to the look of slight confusion on the small child's face.
Instead, set your eyes upon the stickers that cover Lil E's little body. The ones he placed there proudly with help from my mother. The ones he cried real tears over when I gently peeled them off to wash the snot- and juice-stained shirt.
Yes, those stickers. The ones of tiny bras that came from a giant Victoria's Secret catalog that, much to the delight of my mother -- no, not my dad, who started reading Perez Hilton when I told him there were pictures of Britney Spears' hoo hoo on that site, my mother. The stickers with photos of WonderBras and other boobtacular contraptions filled with water and decorated with little hearts and bows and nonsensical sentiments like "PINK", that the child's grandmother thought would be hilarious to use to cover the chest of the kid who referred to his own "tiny boobies" and "nippohhhhs" back then.
Ahh, family. My grandmother made angel food cake and knitted potscrubbers. Lil E's grandmother puts bra stickers over (what he now calls) "dimpohhhhs."
Fortunately, this stickering and the snickering that followed (OK, by all of us -- I am not righteous), did not scar the kid. He's forgotten all about it. Come to think of it, I'd venture to guess my mother has, too.
But not me. I may be even crueler than the grandmother. I'll hold on to this one for another twenty or thirty years especially for the wedding video.
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