If I had a million dollars (yes, of course, the next bit's about buying shoes)

I got married eleven years ago. This weekend. My plan, once I realized I would spend another anniversary married, was to spend a big night out on the town with my grrrls. I envisioned a dinner party using the unopened wedding china or seeing Dirty Dancing on stage or getting very fancy, a little crazy and laughing as much as possible as a counter to any remnants of grief.

Instead, I am honoring what I need this weekend and spending my time with my boy. We will carve pumpkins. We will lay around in our pajamas. We will be open to whims that involve ice cream or steak kabobs. And I will quiet my mind.