Short and sweet

It was a weekend filled with family, with my brother and his bride in town and lots of meals around the dining room table, church and planning our eventual, belated Christmas together. All this and Lil E's time with his daddy made for busyness and back and forth, a changing cast of characters every few hours.

After a daddy dinner out and then an hour of entertaining his best audience with reenactments of the clips playing on America's Funniest Home Videos (or, according to our host, America's Home Funniesss Biddeooohhhs), it was nearly time for Lil E's show to end for the night. It was also time for my brother and I to do a little last minute (ahem) holiday shopping (nothing like preparation). My mom stood by with Lil E's jammies and PullUp and plans for which books to read before bedtime while I gave him a few final snuggles and smooches before heading out.

I pulled that boy into my arms tightly, peppering his cheeks and forehead with kisses.

I told him what I tell him every night before bed, "I love you the most, beautiful boy."

He nodded silently then added that he loves me too.

"And I will miss you but I will come in and kiss you when I get home."

Even when I need need need to get away, I mean this missing sincerely. Even if I would never disturb the quiet of his sleep to kiss him, the reassurance is worth the little whiteness of it.

"And mommy," he asked with this sage sweetness that adhered to the deepest part of me, "will you carry that missing around in your heart while you are gone?"

Ohhh. Oh yes, of course.

I know that moments like these are about months, not just a brief good-bye before bedtime.  And I thank God for this kid who asks those articulate questions, who is working it all out in his head and still, like every struggling-to-do-it-all-by-myself-MOMMY! preschooler with serious teddy-bear-woobie-soothing instincts, needs his mama.

Sure, a few weeks ago, he peed on the daycare lady's couch (twice) after being potty trained for months and months. Yes, he's fired up the tantrums that put two-year olds and some celebs (not to mention the husbands of some people I know) to shame.  Clearly, we have a lot...a lot... to cope with in the days and weeks and years and lifetime ahead. A lot of it isn't pretty. But there, kneeling in the front hallway with my boy in my arms and this little voice asking me to hold his heart in mine as soon as I stepped out the door, reassured me as much as I think it soothed him.

There it was -- simple, sweet, sad and lovely -- in one little sentence. One little sentence that got me completely.

Comments

[Jessica @ A Bushel and a Peck]

What a sensitive, lovely little boy you are raising. How sweet!

[crazedparent]

That sentence made my heart ache for a hug with my own two boys!

He has a sweet soul, Jess. Those little moments will stay in your heart forever.

[zoe]

what a sweet little boy! they really know how to work us don't they?

[Pam]

So sweet! Each of my boys has had his own way of melting my heart and owning me, lock stock and barrel. They just have that charming way. And 3 of 3 is the only one who's called me "Momma" and I can't say that I hate it even a tiny bit. :)