is a single mama in the city, super-savvy editor, writer, video host and shameless shoe whore.
Addressing the address
Sunday, November 11, 2007 
Lil E and I have been staying with my parents for nearly three weeks. This is not how I would have ever had it, nor has it been easy. It has, however, been the right place to be while our family figures out what is next.
The state of affairs in my marriage is sad. But it also just is, and so in that time, we need beds that are warm, meals with loving company and time and space away from the tension and heartache that invaded our own home weeks and weeks ago.
It is working out amazingly well, given the full story and circumstances and that there is a three-year old child at the center. I feel a bit like a fifteen-year old when I report my whereabouts and return time to my parents, who I know will be anxiously waiting for me to return while distracting themselves with OnDemand and left-over Halloween candy. I don't love sleeping on a fold-away couch while our clothes cover one whole guest bed. My whole body and full breaths pull in as I remind Lil E when he asks that we will be home as soon as we can, and until then we sleep at grandma and grandpa's house together -- one conversation no mama wants to have. I desperately want to be back home, to sage the corners of each room and the doors to the outside world, to clear the air of all the toxicity that has allowed so much pain to cross the welcome mat. However, it is in the most raw moments, I think, that we get down to what is really important. And that we are here rather than there right now, matters far less than how we are. Crazy and gratefully enough, I think we are OK.
I'm not thinking about Thanksgiving or Christmas or 2008 at this point. I can barely project into next week or my upcoming deadline days. I can, though, settle into an hour -- and sometimes, a day -- at a time. I can breathe deeper and move calmly through the right here, right now.
If you are trying to find us at home, we aren't there. But call loud enough, and we will hear you. Or leave us a little message. When the moments of grace are sturdy enough to build a pathway back to our little apartment on our beckoning block with the gingko trees and construction trucks, we will find it.
Until then, we're settling in where we are.
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Hugs.