PC - Pouring a playgroup

Have you read the Cosmopolitan Moms article in the New York Times?  I highly recommend you download it (and the great comments over at BlogHer) and take it to this week's playgroup or park visit to get a very interesting convo going with your mama grrrlfriends.

I have to say, I am struggling with the whole idea of "momtini" playdates. I certainly have mama friends who I love sharing a cocktail and adult conversation with, and with some of those friends, I would be fine doing that while the kiddos vrooom trucks and piece Legos alongside us.

I also have a big concern for the line-crossing that can happen easily. We all remember that Oprah with Tracy Gold, right? One (or two) big, innocent glasses of red wine and then a mini-van full of her family off the side of the road. Yikes.

I also have concerns about the parents who see this as justification for addictive behavior, and even though we don't like to talk about it (out loud), we all know someone who we've been concerned about drinking during naptime or out of depression or boredom or some issue that feels too enormous to tackle when there are soccer practices, piles of laundry and part-time work to tackle, too.

I am certainly not saying that mamas who drink are bad people or bad parents. I am saying that this is an issue that needs some attention.  If martini playdates bring it into our conversation, that is a good thing to debate (you can get a good start by viewing the videos in the gallery here).

The article is not just about alcohol. It is also about how moms connect, and how women who are mothers find times and spaces outside the potty/breastfeeding/teething talk  in their conversation. To me, this is the most valid point of the piece. I imagine most moms, if not all, understand that how easy it is to get swallowed up in your children's lives that you forget you are a woman, an adult, a person who needs more social interaction than a playgroup.

I admit to feeling uncomfortable when the wine bottles have come out at my own playgroup. Maybe I wasn't ready for that kind of connecting with the Playgroup Mommies at that time, or maybe it was just the presence of booze that made me wary. 

I would be happy to host an apple pucker party for some of the moms I know, not at noon on a Tuesday, but maybe at five on Friday. And I think I would be happy for the kids to come and sip diluted apple juice, maybe even without the valves in the cups.

My one sticking point, however, in hosting a get-together like this is to call it what it is. If martini parties really are about connecting as women, then  I say that we should make them us-centered and remove all kid-implications from the title. When it comes down to the final pour for me, this fun and friendly fete, is just not a playdate.