What are all those other Jessica Ashleys up to?

"Well, aren't you lucky? Or something, anyway?" She was an older lady and she was trying to be friendly with one of the "kids" (humor me). I was at Macy's, waiting for what seemed like forever for the big plastic things with buttons to confirm I had enough credit to buy all the stuff on the counter. "You have the name of that famous girl Jessica and her sister!"

I smiled and nodded. I'm used to it. I'm so used to it that I dared not go into the finer details, like that Jessica Simpson's sister Ashlee and my last name are spelled differently and that they are two women with one set of parents and I am one woman with two names. I also didn't share that I get a good deal of traffic simply from the misspelled Google searches for the (cringe) singers/actresses/makers of beautiful shoes and excuses for hair extensions.

It's not just Jessica and Ashlee who I seem to tag along with on the interwebz and at Macy's when all I really want is to sign my receipt. There are plenty of other Jessica Ashleys out there, some who have dropped their last name and others who have taken this one (because it's awesome) and others who...well, let's be honest, who are in the porn industry.

And to think that once upon a time, I dreamed of changing my name to Ginger or Mitzi. I woud have missed out on being a part of all this wonder and light.

1.  Perhaps you remember this Jessica Ashley? Perhaps from a Forever 21 sale flyer or Euro-club techno video? Since we last visited her, she's really grown her portfolio (dear baby Jesus, please let me one day do a Debbie Harry photo shoot with a disco ball and my tiny cakes hanging out of my short-shorts) and added some commentary that is awesome and empowered and I may consider adding to my photos. My favorite is this line:

GUYS- PLEASE DO NOT HIT ON ME.  I WILL NOT RESPOND TO YOU.  I AM HERE TO WORK.

Think of how much more productive I could be if I had that label here every day.We JAs really have to be firm elst we will be mired in unwanted advances. And leg warmers. Lots and lots of leg warmers.

2.  Our second Jessica Ashley lives worlds away. And I don't just mean because she lives in the South. She's a 2011 Miss Louisiana Teen USA contestant. Even though her competition includes an Aspen, an Elette, an Ashton, an Ashlyn and a lady who terrifies me simply by wearing a scowl and the name Faith Good (I'm pretty sure that's a Crucible flashback at work), Miss Jessica Ashley's smile will surely outshine all that hot-rollered blondness and rapid-fired Crest White Stripping. If not, other Jessica A., you know I have a tiara I am so happy to bequeath to you.

3.  Last Jessica Ashley -- make that Jessie -- has a blog I don't quite get. But that's probably because I was ordering my college cap and gown when she was being swaddled in a hospital blanket. And I've never read the Harry Potter books (I know, shame). Oh, and I hate cats. But I can't keep myself from checking out what she posts anyway. Maybe it's that bewildered cat in the crocheted hoody or the fact that every image and line she puts up is reblogged (is this a term from thr Goblets of Wizardry I'll finally get in five to seven when Lil E's ready to read these things?) hundreds and hundreds of times. This lady-friend is working it. Hats off -- big, ginormous velvety stars and moons pointy hats with kitty ears poking out -- to you.

Oh, no, kittens. There are many more of us out there. Here are five more Jessica Ashleys doing their thang for the good of us all.

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What he takes away from Sunday school

Lil E complains about Sunday school every week. He also complains about wearing REAL! PANTS! -- the kind that don't have drawstring and holes where his knees can peek out -- and REAL! SHIRTS! -- the kind with (gasp!) buttons or without Yoda.

"Yeah," I tell him. "You don't have to love Sunday school and you don't have to love pants. But according to me, both are necessary once a week."

To be honest, I don't love getting out of the house extra early on the one day of the week we could laze around with iCarly and the New York Times. But we go because it's good for him and for us.

Our church is wonderful. It's an important part of our family. It's the place where I was taught to question my spirituality, the Christian tenets I'd learned at camp, even the Bible. It's where many of our close family friends are. It's where we discuss politics, listen to the sweetest gospel performances I've ever heard, laugh with the tenor section of the choir doing imitations of Martha Stewart in musicals based on biblical stories. It's where it is ok to reference the maternal aspects of God and call Her a She. It's one of the few places where I can be still, sing loudly, where I will stand in front of a congregation and lead a prayer aloud.

I went to Sunday school there, was baptized and confirmed there, married there. Now it is time for Lil E to sit in the same room where my church classmates and I once hid new-agey Bibles swathed in denim covers in the ceiling panels and learn a little about Jesus. I hope he will take that information into higher grades and other classrooms and question it all. Then I hope he will feel supported and empowered to find his way...somewhere to the place his own spiritual center resides. Perhaps he will reject it all. Maybe he'll be Buddhist. He might even sit beside me in the pew when he is grown.

For right now, he's getting the basics -- stories of the Bible, a little "Jesus Loves Me" and some discussion about how to be faithful people outside of the denim Bible hideaway. In a stack of papers and drawings he's collected from Sunday school in the last month or so, I found a booklet on how God works in our lives and families. He only told me that it was about GOD'S! RULES! MOMMY! and that they are VERY! IMPORTANT!

That led me to believe he was buying in. But the drawing I saw in that booklet told me that the kid clearly takes it VERY! SERIOUSLY! Peek on in.

Yes, that's right. Lil E firmly believes one of GOD'S! RULES! is "No eating too much candy." If you're not on board with this holier-than-kindergartener theological assessment, consider the image of the boy with a belly full of lollipops and other treats definitively saying, "BARF!"

Is it detrimental to grow up thinking God is going to get reeeeallllly pissed with you if you have a few too many Snickers? I'm not sure, but considering the amount of Halloween candy sitting idly on top of our fridge, I'm thinking it may be well worth the co-pays to the therapist on down the line.

It's true, this is a family rule. But the fact that he thinks it came from on high...well, I think I'm doing an even better job parenting this one than I realized. And, after all this time at our church, I'm pretty sure God's down with that.

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Someone Else's Words Wednesday: I always need to hear this

There is a story of a woman running away from tigers. She runs and runs and the tigers are getting closer and closer. When she comes to the edge of a cliff, she sees some vines there, so she climbs down and holds on to the vines. Looking down, she sees that there are tigers below her as well. She then notices that a mouse is gnawing away at the vine to which she is clinging. She also sees a beautiful little bunch of strawberries close to her, growing out of a clump of grass. She looks up and she looks down. She looks at the mouse. Then she just takes a strawberry, puts it in her mouth, and enjoys it thoroughly. Tigers above, tigers below.

This is actually the predicament that we are always in, in terms of our birth and death. Each moment is just what it is. It might be the only moment of our life; it might be the only strawberry we’ll ever eat. We could get depressed about it, or we could finally appreciate it and delight in the preciousness of every single moment of our life.

~ a powerful parable, as told by Pema Chödrön in When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

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