What a loss

I logged in to join CityMama's call to keep hope alive when I saw the update that James Kim did not survive his search for help for his stranded family. I know I was not alone in connecting to this family who I have never felt and yet, invested fully in over the last few days. I was full of hope and fear and understanding for James and Kati as parents and partners and people determined to take care of their family in the midst of this tragedy. I was full of pride for Kati's choice to breastfeed both children and full of awe for the choice James made to walk away from his wife and girls in search of rescue. And now, I am full of sadness for the family who will go home without him. How hard, how heroic.

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Mother and children from missing Kim family found

Oh thank God. Like many others, I am sure, my heart has swelled with grief and fear for the Kim family, missing for nine days.

I held them close to my prayers and had a moment of understanding about just how easy it is for a family vacation to go so horribly wrong.  Watching the news tonight, I felt that same heart swell, this time with hope and deep gratitude that Kati Kim and her young daughters were rescued today. I was tearful and felt an inexplicable connection to this mother who breastfed both children to keep them nourished. In CityMama's words, "She is my hero." 

I will keep the Kim family close in my warm thoughts as the search continues for husband and father James Kim, who left the family and veered-off car to seek help. For James, and for Kati and Sabine and Penelope healing in a hospital, and for all of those people searching and supporting the famiy and the rescue effort, I will keep a continual prayer of hope in my swollen heart.

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Getting My Shit Together Monday

Week Four - I am posting this in the last hours of Monday, which will be your first indication that I am far from having my shit together today. I've decided, though, that Getting My Shit Together involves ridding my kooky-loo thought processes of the shoulds as much as it involves organization, commitment and other kinds of self-care. 

Since we are on our fourth (yes, fourth) round of sickness in our family (with no breaks, mind you...pity me), I gave myself two goals: Fight back against those germs (persistent little suckers) and give myself a break.

Fighting back against the germs involved good, old-fashioned diluted bleach, my entire bathroom -  wall to antiseptic wall -  and every other obsessively-touched surface in our apartment (watch it) - doorknobs, phones, remotes, light switches. My break began with a big dose of vitamin C, lots of warm tea and a rejuvenating family dinner with friends.

That is it. Gloriously, that is all that I attempted and accomplished above and beyond the everyday Elmo and email of most Mondays.

And you know what? Even though the sinus pressure is still miserable, even though we are going through Kleenex like crazy and even though I had a good cry begging the gods and the germs to let us be well, I've done a little something and I do feel a little bit better.





Photo credit: Gloves by Onur Aksoy / www.sxc.hu

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