is a single mama in the city, super-savvy editor, writer, video host and shameless shoe whore.
We interrupt this weekend for the funniest freaking thing you have ever seen
Friday, February 1, 2008 
No, really.
Funnier than the time your college roommate fell off her supposed award-winning keg stand. More hilarious than that outfit you insisted was the bomb (I shudder just to say that) to the cluuuuubs the year you graduated from college. And yes, this bit of brilliance will have you pulling out your Black Sheep tapes and throwing your hands up in the name of Bonita Applebaum. Awwww yeah.
Probably the best part of this hilarity is that my grrrl Leotard Kelly flipped it my way and was all, "Ummm, yeah, you've probably already seen this, right?" She was all casual-like about it, as if she wasn't rolling on the rubberized gym floor over that It's Like This/It's Like That Pie Chart.
Now aren't you curious? Don't you want to click over? Don't you? You haven't yet? Maybe this will persuade you:
Oh. Mah. Gaw. I'm still laughing so hard, I can barely eat my M&Ms and a rice crackers, guzzle my glass of wine that's been living in an open bottle for three weeks and watch Friday Night Lights On Demand like I should be on a typical launch into the weekend. And that's such serious shiz yo, I am ordering this for myself. Or maybe this. I mean, as soon as I pull myself off the floor and push play on Friday Night Lights again.
Locked up. Or at least out.
Thursday, January 31, 2008 My roommates are on vacation. My roommates, who also are known in this crowded house as my counsel, our generous benefactors of invaluable advice and unlimited microwaveable mac & cheese, my early morning co-parents and mid-afternoon co-op picker-uppers, our landlords, my confidants and reality checkers...oh, and my parents. Those guys are on their way to somewhere sunny and sandy and where the grating song from Dragon Tales cannot be heard.
They're retired and they've been housing us for nearly four months, so they deserve to listen to the waves lapping against the white sand just beyond their rental condo patio. Even though a snow drift is steadily covering the front steps here and the temperatures have dropped to the point that I'm considering pulling on wool socks under my clicky clicky boots, I am happy for their travels south.
They will be snowbirds and we will be shoveling snow. It is also an opportunity for Lil E and I to go it alone and to see how we do together. I've been focusing on this -- on the opportunity of this break -- on how I want to work things without grandpa to handle breakfast while I hop in the shower or grandma to take-over nap time resistance while I finish one last post. And this is what I was centering on yesterday, Day One of Operation Fingers Crossed.
It started off great with Lil E playing quietly while I showered and then having a triumphant day of pretend fire-fighting and napping and snacking at daycare.
The it was off to a friends house for dinner (for us all), Thomas the Train playing (for the kids) and a big glass of merlot (for the parents). I purposely planned that pizza night playdate to fill up our evening with enough distraction and melted cheese so we wouldn't think about the quiet house waiting for us. And it worked like a charm. The boys played and we all pizzaed and we left for home tired and tummies full and happy.
On the ride home, Lil E and I decided he'd kick off his layers of winter wear and the snow from his boots, have one more cookie and then take a nice, warm bath. We talked about making another pizza night playdate for next week and as I yawned, I caught him in the rear view mirror doing the same.
And that's where the magic ended.
Minutes later, I slid the key into the bolt on the front door, gave it a little push to the stubborn lock that sticks even when it isn't 42-below-zero (or whatever the dial was teetering as it got dark last night). When it didn't open, I took a breath, remembering that it sometimes needs a little release and finesse to open. So...inhale, exhale, key in, turn, key out. Oh wait. Key out...WITH THE ENTIRE CYLINDER OF THE LOCK.
Fuuuuuuuuuuck.
