Lil E Explains: How you know you know stuff

It was Friday afternoon and for the second day in a row, Lil E distracted himself out of a nap at school. This does not make the witching hours any more interesting, bearable or entertaining. My retaliation is also distraction -- questions, songs, offers to let him wear my jewelry, giving in to letting him zone on the big chair with his paci, fourteen tattered stuffed animal babies and whatever god-awful show's programmed against the Jim Lehrer Hour. 

In the car, though, I went to my first ammunition -- pointed questions about the day. We landed on Flubber, the rubbery, Play-Dohing gunk those 4-year olds flock to like fishy crackers dipped in chocolate and made into trail mix with Oreos, juice boxes and anything in the cabinets containing red dye, high fructose corn syrup and orange mac-and-cheese dust.

"Since you like Flubber so much, I should ask your teacher for the recipe so we can make it at home," I said.

"Yeah, she knows how to make Flubber," Lil E confirmed.

"She knows everything," I said into the rear view mirror.

"NO SHE DOESN'T!" Lil E retaliated quickly.

"Well, she knows how about Flubbering!" I said, "I don't know about that."

"Well, she doesn't know everything," he insisted.

"I know, I know," I smiled. "No one knows everything."

There wasn't even a pause before he launched in with the inevitable.

"Well, I know everything."

He was so convinced. And convincing, I couldn't help myself. Sassy Mommy took over the wheel.

"What's my middle name?" I asked as casually as I could.

"I don't know!" He seemed surprised and then genuinely curious. "What is it, Mommy?"

"Hope," I told him. "My middle name is Hope."

And then came perhaps the best comedic timing I've witnessed from the carseat yet.

"WELL! Now I know everything!"

He was strident, on point and I swear that if I hadn't laughed, he would have ended it with a "Thank you! And goodnight!"

Lil E may be wise beyond his four pacifier-packed years. Please, let him also 'splain:

• What Mommy should wear
• Who to vote for in the election
• What happens in utero
• Pretty much everything from the boobs on south (and manages to somehow work in dinosaurs)

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Oh dear, Batman and Penguin's debate is just a leeetle too familiar

This post-debate gem just landed in my email inbox. Of course, it plays right into the Batman obsession around here.




It's good it makes me laugh because otherwise, I'd get too creeped out by the many parallels between The Penguin and The McCain (and yes, that includes a little "my friends" refrain). The Barack-Batman connection's no stretch. But it does make me wonder when Hillary's going to enter stage right in a rubber suit. And would that make Sarah Palin the perfect Harley Quin? Hmmm.

More importantly, if this means I can extend the wear on my own dream costume from door-to-door candy collecting to campaigning, then...hey, all the better. I'm all about getting as much use as possible out of my red boots. All for a good cause, right? All for a good cause.

[via Wonkette]

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Today is Love Your Body Day. And no, that doesn't include a discount to THAT online retailer.

Today is Love Your Body Day and as tempted as I am to celebrate that by calling up all the 20something men I know (oh wait, I no longer know any 20something men...DAMMIT) and asking them how they are going to love my body today, I guess I will just do the right feminist thing and (sigh) be good to my own bod.

I do have a list of blah-blah-badge of honor ways I will be boosting my body esteem today. But here are four fun ones I will share with you, grrrlfriend to grrrlfriend:

• I am dangerously close to swathing my body in this. I'm not quite ready for the season of wool layers, but damn!, it's so Mary Tyler Delicious. Loving my body means keeping it warm and buttoned up in a coat that fits my curves, my style and the weather. (My body, however, does not give a fuck about my budget.)

• I am finally booking a facial here with a gift certificate I got back in the 1970s. Loving my body means being OK with taking off my make-up and letting professionals work their magic on my nakey face. It also means accepting the kindness other women have offered me, whether that comes in a moisturizer or a gift card.

• I am choosing to crawl in bed early tonight, even though the boy will be with his dad and The Hills is waiting for me On Demand and there a thousand organizational projects calling to me under piles of clutter. Loving my body means resting it for more than five hours at a time.

• I am going to ask my boy to tell me what he loves about his body. And I know, I know, I know what he will certainly say. But I want to foster that gratitude in him too. Even if it means one more car ride conversation about AMAZING boy bits (sigh).

I adored Viva La Feminista's list of body-empowered ways of being today.

Now it's your turn to ignite the inspiration! What will you do to love yourself up?

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