Jessica Ashley facebook twitter babble voices pinterest is a single mama in the city, super-savvy editor, writer, video host and shameless shoe whore.
read more »
Mama Needs New Shoes
Subscribe to Sassafrass by RSS or Email
Follow by RSS feed

OR

Follow by email to have Sassafrass' blog updates delivered to your inbox:

Mama Likey

This area does not yet contain any content.
Search Sassafrass
Thursday
Sep182008

This is not a shoe blog: Hooker shoes with bottle openers in the heels?! GENIUS!

I think it's time for a little shoe relief up in here.

In all of the division of property, there has never been a single mention of my shoes. Can you believe it?! What in the world is the Almost-Ex doing with all that empty closet floor real estate?

Oh yeah. I almost forgot he rivaled me in shoes. Of course, mine are mostly too-high, too-pointy phenomenal whore shoes that look great all day and feel great for ten minutes, and his are stinky, disgusting athlete's foot-ridden cross-trainers, but still. I'm sure sometimes he glances down at the closet floor and a little tear spontaneously, gently rolls down his cheek and falls with the slightest sound upon his Dr. Scholl's inserts and he feels sentimental, nostalgic, wanting of all those rows and rows of fabulously grrrly footwear.

Life goes on, I guess. Shoes keep on walking.

Since I've had enough of the divorce downer stuff for a bit, I thought I'd shift gears and share some shoes. Who isn't made happier by looking at shoes? Especially these shoes:

Bottleshoe

They come with a bottle opener built into the heels! Who knew?!

So practical! So perfect for a picnic!

I bet you can get these lucite lovelies on an end-of-season sale now and be prepared for all of next summer's special outdoor occasions.

Fun for the whole family!

Plus, think of how giggly good it will feel to see a purchase from "bootycocktails.com" come up on your credit card bill.

See? Now don't we all feel better?

« Happy birthday, beautiful boy | Main | Please God, just get me divorced »

Reader Comments (13)

Shoes for the perfect women...
September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBeth B.
I need these.
September 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfoodmomiac
Here's some other ones you might enjoy: built in tip jar!

http://www.funkypair.com/tipjar-708-3strippershoes.aspx
September 26, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdaruma
Thank you! Nice article .Actualy it’s very usefull for any new bloggers like me.It is the point we must know to beguin any site. This will help alot.

This post is very true. I enjoyed reading it. Gread post!
I need these kind of article !!I think it's time for a little shoe relief up in here.thanks for sharing these kind of tips ..:)
May 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMommy Blog
evolution shoes are popular with customers because of cheap in price and high in quality,there are five fingers shoes and roller shoes and skate shoes and rock climbing shoes and flip flop

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterroller shoes
I think this post for ladies! i"m skate lover and love skate shoes like, dc or vans shoes :))
July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVans Shoes
Too Smart for Dad

Young man, said the angry father from the head of stairs, didn't I hear the clock strike four when you brought my daughter in?

You did, admitted the boyfriend, it was going to strike eleven, but I grabbed it and held the gong so it wouldn't disturb you.

The father muttered, Wonder why I didn't think of that one in my courting days!
August 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermarc jacobs handbags
I FELT LIKE I WAS TRAPPED IN ONE OF THOSE TERRIFYING nightmares, the

one where youhave to run, designer

wholesale run till your lungs burst, but you can't make your body

move fast enough. My legs seemed tomove slower and slower Fashion

High Heel Shoes as I fought my way through the callous crowd, but

the hands on the huge clocktower didn't slow. With relentless,Cheap Men's Brand Clothing

uncaring force, they turned inexorably toward the end—the end ofeverything.
August 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commentereverything
Ohhh there is nice fashion discussed by blog…here is some nice and fashionable boots for u all…check this out…
October 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteretniesshoesuk
hay dear...skate shoes lover is back here...i am now wearing my vans shoes and looking your blog...nice long heel ladies shoes are there...really awesome...
February 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commentervans shoes
It is quite hard to explain but shoes have become a part of everyday activities.
March 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdesigner shoes
I like you on facebook and follow through google reader!
December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJimmy Choo Chaussures

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>